Chidinma-Felicia Okoro

Chidi, we have missed your presence so much,you were more than a friend to us, a sister in deed,our closest neighbor.
We cannot forget all the good times we shared ,kids school activities, birthdays,family get- togethers, christening, the last one in may 2010 which you graced looking gorgeous in your black dress and white lace jacket, we were so surprised that you came.
It is true that we cannot physically see you again but the memory of you is evergreen.
Rest in perfect peace,you worn the race and we believe that our Lord has given you a befitting crown as you worship him eternally.

We are here today to celebrate Chidi’s simple but short lived life. This is a very sad day for us all.The sadness is so real and very hard to believe.

Chidi was a very good friend of mine. The friendship was so good that we one could not tell that we were not actually sisters. I thought she would have been the one to stand on a day like this and speak on my behalf. That is life, it is not guaranteed!

Chidi was one of the best people that I ever met. She had that uncanny, natural touch that drew people to her. You feel at home in her presence. She was kind and down to earth. Some of her qualities included great interest in others, goodwill, loving people, and she enjoyed helping them.

It was through seeking help for someone that she found out about her own problem with cancer. She did a lot of research on this illness during her illness and shared any information she thought might be of benefit for anyone.

It was also her wish to help the less privileged. To quote her, She did put it this way, “I do not want to come and leave unannounced. I want to help the the poor. All these widows living in thatched houses, children not getting any form of education. What about the hungry, sick and homeless. There are many people who need help but I will try my best”. As one can see, this was infact, Chidinma’s legacy.

Chidi could not physically help people as much as she wanted to but spiritually her wish may have been fulfilled through her illness because the pain and discomfort was too much for one person, especially some like her!

In all she took it with grace, honor and fought gallantly. I never saw her falter in her faith and belief. She even consoled or gave word of encouragement if she had any inclination that you were worried about her situation. Chidi remained stoic to the very end.

  We grieve for her, but let us not lose sight of her wishes while mourning. Let us keep her memory alive by doing the best we can for the poor. It will make her happy. Also let us do the best we can to fight this disease that has snatched her away from us!

Cancer is a very insidious disease that creeps in on us and takes charge. For now, it has defied and eluded almost all scientific effort to find cure. So what do we do? Sit down feeling, dejected with stooped shoulders and cry? No! All hands should be on deck. We have to be proactive and   participate actively in our self care.

Early screening and treatment may is the only option for now. It did not work for Chidi, but it may be the saving grace for another. Have your annual screening and follow up care on time. The women should remember monthly breast examination, yearly mammogram/ultrasound as the case maybe, and Pap smear. The fact that you feel healthy may not mean that you are. Report any abnormality on time; do not wait for it to go away for it may be a sign of morbid condition.

The black race is predisposed to colon cancer, at age 45 the first colon cancer screening should have completed. Do not wait for positive occult blood. It may be too late then!

Chidinma, Ezinwannem, Nwanyioma, rest in peace, your pain is over and thank God almighty, you are free at last. Eternal rest is yours.

Greatly missed and fondly remembered by

Theresa Owuamanam.

 

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Month's Mind

Chidi, it is already one month that you left on this eternal journey to God! I have no doubts at all that you arrived safely home! I have been seeing you in the Joy of Paradise with the eyes of my mind! You are now partaking in the heavenly banquet with Christ our Lord and Saviour in the company of the Angels and Saints, having washed your garments sparking clean in the ocean of sufferings! Outside this banquet and praises, do you find time to do other things in heaven? Now that you have crossed the threshood of time over there in eternity, how does it feel like to be outside the confines of time? Chidi, you always had a technique of explaining very difficult things in an extra-ordinarily simple way! Are you not going to let us know how it feels over there? Is it difficult to do that? I can almost hear you, beaming with your lovely smile and wishpering; Father, you can't understand it all if I explain it! Yes I know there are many things we can never know or understand untill we get to the feet of Jesus! The glory of God is better experienced than explained! Chidi, being the very kind hearted and caring person you were, I am expecting you will come back some day to tell us: 'Do not worry, I am ok and very happy'! We are told that order is the first law in heaven! Therefore, you shall need a permission for an errand to the world; is n't it? Citizen of heaven, please ask for this permission then, that we may get some first hand information from you! My prayer is that God may grant it to you, being the very beautiful soul you are! Until then, please continue to rest in perfect peace, Amen.

Rev. Fr. Hyacinth Ibeh.

To everyone gathered here today, thank you: for being here with me on this sorrowful day, and for the amazing generosity you bestowed upon us as we suffered through the agonies of the past few weeks. Your thoughts and prayers and deeds of kindness and mercy gave me the courage to walk on during the many moments when I doubted I had the strength to take another step.

My Wife Chidinma Felicia Okoro was such a wonderful person. I’m not sure I can really express just how much I will miss her. Not only was she a wonderful wife, but a wonderful Mother, best friend, colleague ...and so much more. Dignity, elegance, courage, faith-filled and strength are all words that describe Chidinma

Chidinma Felicia was born in 1966 at Ibadan Oyo state, Nigeria, to the late Luke and Elizabeth Chukwuocha. She was the last child of the family of eight Children.

Chidinma loved education; she began her primary education at Central School Eke Nguru Mbaise in Imo State, and concluded it at Abadina Model School Ibadan. Thereafter, she got into saint Theresa’s College Ibadan for her secondary education. From there, she secured admission into the university of Port-Harcourt, where she obtained a first degree in English Education and a master’s degree in Guidance and counseling. She did her national youth service (NYSC) in Ogun State Nigeria. After teaching for a few years in the United States, her interest in helping people led her to change carrier and became a Nurse.

Chidinma Njoku my sister whom she went to school with at the University of Port Harcourt introduced us to each other in 1990. The moment I set eyes on her, I knew she was the one for me. She was the loveliest woman I had ever seen. Her poise, her grace and her beauty was extraordinary. Our courtship was difficult as we had to overcome distance, but I was determined to make her my wife.

We got married traditionally on the 26^th of December 1993 and celebrated the church wedding on the 24^th of December 1994. Our union produced three beautiful Children Chidube, Chetachi and Chidike. When we had each of our children she was delighted. Chidinma was a wonderful Mother to them and I would watch her talk to them, I saw how they always went to her for advice. They respected and loved her deeply. Her children were her pride and joy.

On October 2003 while researching for the cure for breast cancer for a friend of her who was diagnosed with breast cancer she discovered that there were some women as young as 24 years old with the disease so she decided to get a mammogram. Her doctor at the time felt she was too young to worry about breast cancer but she insisted and was later giving a referral. The mammogram result identified some spots, which the doctor taught was milk calcification because she had a baby a year earlier. A biopsy confirmed it was cancer.

 She had her first of many surgeries in 2004 and the doctors said that since the cancer was found on time there was no need for chemotherapy or radiation. In 2008 after her mom’s burial, she felt a lump on the same breast that was operated upon and to the doctor’s amazement a biopsy confirmed it was cancer. This time after surgery it was followed with chemotherapy and radiation. On mother’s day 2010, her last day at work, she called me to come take her to the emergency room because of the pain she was experiencing. That emergency room visit and a follow up visit at city of hope the next day confirmed our worst fear. The cancer has metastases to the bone.

 Chidinma fought a courageous battle spiritually, mentally, physically and medically. Chidinma was a tough woman. I never heard Chidinma complain in spite of pain. She was still able to comfort friends and family through her loving smiles, words and compassionate bright ideas. Chidinma opened many hearts and soul for the Lord including me. She left a lot of loving memories on my heart that I will hold and remember forever.

 We have been through a lot in the last 8 years. We have experienced the difficulty of depression and have seen how it can devastate a family unit and cause other things to be neglected. We have experienced financial difficulty during times when we desperately needed money in order to pay bills and try and keep things afloat. Our personal relationship with one another was tested. The pain and trauma of all those things would have blown most marriages. Despite all we were committed to one another and to our kids. Our faith while shaken became stronger and stronger.

 I am so very grateful to have had Chidinma as my wife - as well as my room-mate and friend - for the 18 years I had her. She will always be a blessing and inspiration in my life. I will see her in all that's good and right with the world because she is there. I will never forget the many ways she touched my life and my children's life throughout the years we have lived together but especially in the last few months of her life. In spite of the difficulties we faced, in spite of the pain she was in, those times were sweet too, because we shared a lot of love and laughter.

My golden wife, the mother to my children, my pearl, my precious stone, my crown, my queen and empress. You dear darling of my heart, my highest and most precious, my all and everything, I love you. I will definitely miss you.

And now, sadly, that time together has ended. I stand here today hoping to utter words that would in some way illuminate how special a daughter, mother, wife, and friend Chidinma Felicia Okoro (Nee Chukwuocha) was; I wanted to tell the world how much she meant to me, and how much joy she brought to so many people. I wanted to say something beautiful and poetic and majestic, because Chidinma was beautiful and poetic and majestic. But I will end with simple words, words simple and true, words which she heard over and over from me and words she never was tired of hearing:

I love you, Chidinma

I always will.  

I will miss you

To the Okoro family, Ike, Chidube, Chetachi, Chidike, Committee of friends, ladies and gentle men, today those of us here in America say goodbye to Chidinma Okoro, a woman who is very much beloved, cherished and admired by  her family, colleagues, and friends.

My story about Chidinma began shortly after I met her husband, Ike Okoro, sometime around 1992. Ike had told her so much about me that she felt she had already met me and by the time we actually met in 1994 as the best man at their wedding; I was not a stranger but I was like a brother or some other family member. Her friendship and love quickly spread to my wife, Eziaku whom she instantly renamed “Ezi-Money” and to my entire family.

When Chidinma came to the United States to join Ike, her husband, she immediately got busy by having children and raising a family. While raising her family, she extended her love to become a teacher. As if that was not enough chores, she went on to become a registered Nurse. Unfortunately, she was not able to take nursing to a higher level as she had wanted to do.

Many of you who knew Chidinma can agree with me that she had an infectious personality. Her eyes filled with great exuberance can easily consume you. Simply put, hers was that of a doyenne in the society. She was a woman highly loved by every body who met her. Throughout the time I knew Chidinma; I never saw her angry or use any angry words. Chidinma attracted all kinds of people across the spectrum. Chidinma lived an amazing life even though it was rather short. Chidinma was a great friend; she was the kind of friend who stood by you when you needed somebody to be there. She always wanted to make people happy. Not withstanding, on her dying bed, Chidinma was so passionate and even intervened in my own family affair.

Chidinma was a mother who looked after not only her own three children, but hosted and took care of numerous children and families from far and near. Any person who entered her home, was immediately family. Okoro family survived during chidinma’s illness not only because of Chidinma’s love, she made it as long as she did because of their own love. This is vividly portrayed by the love and life Ike, her husband found in Chidinma.

Some of my regrets about Chidinma are about promises not kept. Ike and I had told her great stories of our junkets as insurance agents and all the good time we had together before she got married. Even though we took her to a few of these places, but not to great many other places she had longed to go including my wife and I as couples. Another regret is that she left us too soon before I could take her to participate in my home town famous Ila Oso Uzuakloli in Abia State which is going on now and another one due in two years. We were so damn sure that she was going to beat her illness that she made me promise I was not going to chicken out this time around. Due to living far apart from each other and then when we lived closer, time and raising families became a factor and so we never did. Today, I now know that one should not postpone what one should do today for tomorrow as time waits for no one.

In closing, permit me to quote from part of President Obama’s eulogy for Senator Kennedy: “What we can do is to live out our lives as best we can with purpose, and love, and joy. We can use each day to show those who are closest to us how much we care about them, and treat others with the kindness and respect that we wish for ourselves. We can learn from our mistakes and grow from our failures. And we can strive at all costs to make a better world, so that someday, if we are blessed with the chance to look back on our time here, we can know that we spent it well; that we made a difference; that our fleeting presence had a lasting impact on the lives of other human beings”.

I am sure that Chidinma is in a better place today, she is eternally happy in the arms of the Lord. Chidinma will forever be missed but I know in the right time, we will meet Chidinma again. Let’s not remember the way she died but remember the way she lived. But for the Okoro family, be certain to know that I share with you your sadness and I stand to help in every way. So I say unto you Chidinma, nne, nwunye Ikechi Okoro, nwanyi oma, onye ukpo, the doyenne in the society, nne mmadu, nwa mmadu, nwa nne mmadu, enyi mmadu, you shall forever live because The Lord is with you and if the Lord is with you, you have been so blessed in his arms and may the Good Lord rest your soul in peace.

I am Ndubuisi Chijioke, your friend, the best man!